about -- blog -- books -- horoscopes

This is my last regular column for the year, but don't fret, next week I'll be posting my Year Ahead Forecast for 2010 and it's a cracker. I'll be back January 18. You can manage til then can't you? Good.

Sagittarius

There's an idealistic Sagittarian moon overseeing the second week of negotiations at Copenhagen, and with Venus sunning herself in your sign you're bound to see the benefit of positive changes. That melty feeling ain't just your ice caps.

Capricorn

The imminent canonisation of Mary MacKillop reminds us that Capricorns don't have to cure cancer to get a halo over your heads; you just have to be in the right place at the right time and keep your impure thoughts to yourself. It's a week of such small miracles.

Aquarius

Some new family constellations will pop up for you this week, e.g. long lost unheard-of bastard love child comes knocking asking for cash. In the main the shifts will be refreshing and hopeful, rather than debt-inducing, but transfer your savings to a secret account today just in case.

Pisces

Since you are already one of the people who thinks the Large Hadron Collider's run of kamikaze birds is a message from the future, I won't bother introducing the concept of parallel universes here. I'll just point out that you're about to phase-jump into a really good one.

Aries

You really want to be in charge of things this week, and okay it's your turn, but it's also an excellent week for compromise and diplomacy, so would you mind very much not bossing anyone around for the next, oh, four or so years? Thanks.

Taurus

While you're getting suckered into neighbourhood Christmas light displays featuring eerily animated penguins, the planet is in trouble. Yes, there are small things each of us can do. Hint: the population of real penguins is in inverse proportion to the number of plastic ones.

Gemini

If you get up very early tomorrow you might just catch some falling stars in the north-west corner of the sky. Literally, it's time for the Geminid meteor shower again. Metaphorically, I hope you've been making some healthy wishes this year.

Cancer

Cancerians who demand a windfall this week are probably ingrates. Having said that, something will come up that makes your labours of love a little less laborious and a touch more lovely. Is it just the holidays, or did you get a repeat prescription?

Leo

Have a read of Obama's Nobel Prize acceptance speech to get the hang of how to make hypocrisy look like altruism. Now that you know what you've been up to, drop it. This week there is more to be gained from genuine intentions than the 'enlightened' self-interest known as politics.

Virgo

The mid-December sense that all things are shrivelling into insubstantiality is very frustrating for you Virgos, but at least it will give you an insight into the minds of the drought-affected farmers who will bash down your office door next year if you don't do enough about climate change.

Libra

School might be over but you take an advanced exam in negotiating powers this week. Whether you're in Denmark or Deniliquin you'll be called upon to settle the equivalent of an all-pub post-match shout-off. This might not be the best time for Libran dithering.

Scorpio

Happy Monkey Day, Scorpio! Sure, it's one of those internet-era holidays that was dreamed up by some comic book artist and trickled through the global office hive mind, but celebrate it anyway. You need to indulge your inner tree-swinging trickster.