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Libra

Ancient Romans celebrated October 19th as The Armilustrium, a ceremonial spear-cleaning and storage party indicating the end of warring season. This week, I insist you improvise a purification ritual of your own: it's time to put away your weapons.

Scorpio

Like Scorpio Penny Wong, you realise that threatening to shorten your enemy's Chistmas holidays is not the best of strategies. This week, use the carrot and make them an offer they can't refuse. After all, it's outcomes we want, not political point-scoring. Isn't it?

Sagittarius

The universe is training you for better relationships, so while the current situation isn't making much sense, bear with the regime of emotional sit-ups, psychic tummy-crunches and astral aquarobics. You'll be fitter for what comes next.

Capricorn

The world is having issues with authority this week, and for once Capricorns are not on the side of the status quo. But choose your battles very carefully: all will soon be settled and it's vital you come out of it with the right allies.

Aquarius

Your restlessness will soon reap rewards, so accept any travel opportunities that come up over the next three weeks, unless they are made by mad inventors in Colorado and involve homemade hot air balloons, tiny children, and eight thousand bored journalists.

Pisces

Pisces Philip Ruddock stumbled in from his political graveyard to weigh in on asylum seeker strategy as though his opinion was still worth something. Sorry, Pisces, but you are seated way up in the back for a reason. Go back to sleep.

Aries

Several recent articles about vampires have focused on their perennial role as symbols of sexual taboo. This week, rather than digesting someone else's personification of your repressed parts, design your own sexy fear-inducing monster. Prizes if it comes to life.

Taurus

Taurus Barbra Striesand is having a massive charity auction this week as she doesn't have room for all her treasure. You're suffering from a strikingly similar situation, but on a smaller scale as you hock your last pair of shoes and move into a cardboard box.

Gemini

Gemini Prince Frederik of Denmark kept falling over at the Masters Games, ending up in Sydney Harbour a couple of times. Your pratfalls remind the rest of us that you're just a regular guy/gal. Sorry, but your people are enjoying the schadenfreude.

Cancer

Whatever seed you planted on the weekend will grow very well. I hope you weren't conducting one of your GM/triffid experiments back there. This week has the potential to be frustrating unless you engage your capacity for serenity and patience. You will see sprouts by Friday.

Leo

This week you will start considering your living situation in more detail and be seized by a desire to do something about it. Don't act until you're sure you've explored the options as you will have a tendency to rush in like a fool and build your new house out of straws.

Virgo

Frank "fired again" Farina blames his honesty for his unpopularity, rather than admitting to his drinking problem. Meanwhile KevPM owns up to smacking his kids now and then. Oh dear, you Virgos really need to think about what you're saying before you open your mouths.